My offical entry for The Great Limerick Run....WOOHOO!

D-Day

Week 3 of Marathon training...13 weeks to go

It's strange how running changes everything...

Eating habits,work energy,sleep patterns,clothes,deciding on whether to drink or not to drink, social life, preparing for the day ahead....all that has changed...how?

1)I eat breakfast : never used to eat breakfast,rushed out the door in the morning and was starved by 11 o clock so would eat crap...bickies or whatever I got my hands on

2)hop out of bed in the morning like a jack in the bean-box: before I'd roll over and get up feeling tired constantly...

3)I prepare my lunch the night before: previously I used to go out for lunch or head to Garvey's for a chicken roll and a bag of Taytos...now i have sandwiches made and and salad, also I'd knock back a pint of water, used to have a can or two of Diet coke...am off it nearly 4 weeks... haven't had one drop of fizzy drinks

4) Clothes: I've lost a stone and a half, I can now go to the bathroom without opening my trousers...just pull them down! have another two stone to go but I will get there....

5) running is a social thing: I've met some lovely new people and the group seems to gel quite well...

I didn't realise it at the start but slowly but surely you start to become more focused...now I understand why so many people are out there running...the amount of money I've wasted on gym memberships is scary...ive done all the hotels from the Brandon to Manorwest...the closest i got to them was driving past them...the only bit of exercise i got was turning my head whilst driving past thinkibg to myself ' jesus i must go there some day!' ....never went!

Tonight was the first night that I truly felt comfortable doing the 3 miles...wasn't stressed..no nail biting thinking ' can I do this'...actually I'm beginning to enjoy running...at last...

Saturday 6 miles....not what I expected

There is a method to Marcus's madness...it's all in the pacing...

Got up this s'morning very nervous...what else would I be!! 7. 30 ate my lumpy porridge, knocked back my Benecol ...cup of tea and waited...for my first 6 mile run...

Met Marcus in Tesco's last night and he kind of put my mind at rest a little bit...he was dividing up the groups into fast and slow(that's me that's me!)...brilliant I skipped around Tesco's like a loola.....

We all met In the Aquadome car park at ten O clock...think there were about 35 people running this smorning which was a fantastic turnout..wondered how many would end up in the slow group..Brian comes over to me and slips me a gel like a druggie...my eyes lit up.. Woohoo might pick up speed with this thing... he advised me to take it after the hill...

10 sharp off we go...Marcus starts on the dot...up my favourite hill Ballyard..legs felt tired already...shite how am I going to run 6 bloody miles! Ok ok I got my breathing back..settled a little bit...got over the hill...and had a look around to see who was beside me..normally I kind of disassociate myself because I'm concentrating so much on my breathing and running that I just ignore everyone...and i grunt every so often... a lady ( don't know her name!) and Brian were parallel with me...didn't want anyone seeing me take the gel so I knew Brian was chatting away to her so sneakily I tear off the top like a mental head and knock it back...felt oily...look around, no one saw me woohoo! Thinking away to myself.. maybe I might get a spurt and pass everyone out! I think everyone would fall over with shock literally...anyway I kept dreaming away to myself...something is wrong here...I had to look around, I was still actually running with people...normally past the rugby club I start to drift back..and there were about 6 people behind me...fecking brilliant! Marcus was pacing us which suited me down to the ground...loved it...no more worrying bout catching up...nice and steady...felt good...

Marcus spurts out advice every so often...all I hear are the words ' nipple rash' and he telling us not to buy new bra's and knickers! so that means if I'm carried into the medical tent during the marathon for some mad reason there will be holes in my knickers and my bra will probably be falling off me at that stage! how nice....

hit about 4 miles and I see people turning up ahead toward tonavane ...this must be the extra mile that Marcus so generously is putting in for us...feck,where are we going... I knew this road but only drove it in the dark two weeks previously to suss out his route..still with the group...this is mad I thought to myself... hit near the end and turned..farmer joe was gawking at us on the way back up the road...peeping from over his hedge...he must have thought we were training for the Olympics as we were so chirpy! Sheila gives him a salute like a thoroughbred runner! We all laugh...strange how a group carries you along and you don't realise it...

Hit Blennerville football pitch...still going good... Marcus tells me to fall back behind him...maybe the gel kicked in...no one has ever told me to slow down! knew we were on the home stretch so I was probably getting a bit excited!

Turned onto Blennerville road, Marcus points out another runner coming towards us ' Stephen griffin' ..who the feck was he?! John Griffins brother the renowned marathon runner...you learn something new every day...hadn't a clue to be honest but I felt like giving him a presidential wave saying ' look at me I'm a runner just like you!' ...saddo...

Tried crossing the road before the station house..Sheila Gleasure our newly appointed slow group ' safety officer' directs us across the road on the bend! She bounced along, shuffling us all across like cattle in a mart...I was weaning a little bit...

On the home stretch , 1 miles to go... the fecking canal...it was the longest mile ever..but I kept the head down and focused on dodging all the puddles...met two lovely doggies along the way..I actually think they gave me a dirty look...could you blame them..
all they saw was a group of sweaty red headed runners plodding towards them....

Saw the aquadome...fantastic!! couldn't jump up and down cause I was so fecking stiff...near the carpark Marcus tells us sprint in...what planet is he on?! there's Bob hope and no hope that I was going to sprint into the car park like an arthritic granny...I've just done my first 6 miles dimwit! woohoo!

fantastic... only for Marcus and the rest of the group I wouldn't have been able to do it... I must say the group are a lovely bunch and everyone seemed to be delighted with today...so congrats to everyone..

I thoroughly enjoyed today...

But I did hear Marcus mention an added hill next week...feck must go for a drive tomorrow...

6 mile finish Aquadome Carpark

Wed run...3 miles...is this what s runners 'dip' feels like?!

You know when things went completely a-wall tonight when I resorted to fibbing...I arrived into the car park and Brian asks 'how did the run go tonight? .... Ans.: great thanks, didn't do too bad.....' when in fact I bloody faltered on the hill and walked for 20 secs...don't know why but I just stopped dead on the road and frustration set in... I ate Catriona and told her to shag off and leave me alone...came back, sat in the car and the bottom lip started to go... but I kept it together...running three nights in a row is tiring but tonight has not put me off...I have a history of just giving up exercise and this time I said to myself...I will do this and dips are expected...

Work during the day is normally go go go all day,then running ( more stress! ), then dinner, prepare lunch for next day , shower and bang it's half nine/ ten before relaxation sets in for a half an hour then bed....z z z z z ...up at 7....groundhog day again...thank god thur and frid are rest days...looking forward to just doing nothing in the evenings...but one thing I am very sure of is this blog gives me motivation to get up off my ass...and people's comments are a boost mentally so I've no choice but to keep going otherwise I'm not going to let these running shoes join the badminton racquet, the wet suit, the body board, the treadmill, the cross trainer, the yoga mat,weights, the rowing machine all stacked neatly in the garage...but fair deuce to me I have knocked use out of my racer!

I am looking forward to sat 6 miles...

Tues 4 miles....felt disheartened...haven't a clue why...

Tonight was tough.

Felt very disheartened after my run tonight..haven't a clue why to be honest...I have this thing in my head that I have to get faster and I just can't bloody do it...started off good tonight but then slowly but surely I start to fall back...and back...and back...tried running with longer footsteps but my calfs just went on strike...breathing was good but mentally it was very tough...so many times tonight I just wanted to stop ...chatting away to myself trying to convince myself not to stop...I didn't, I even ran up Ballyard hill whilst arguing with myself...great craic I must admit! Am I the only looney toon out there.....probably...

Wore a Garmin watch tonight...Catriona took me out running during the summer...one of my many running attempts..Decided to run walk a 5 miler on a sunny Sunday morning...off we go happy out..running then walking...started off running again , then I hear beep beep...beep beep..beep beep...what the hell was that?...every so often the beeps kept coming..of course I'd never used a Garmin before...not a mind do I not talk whilst running but it drove me bananas...I felt like I had a CSI agent beside me watching every move I make and watching my pace...so that turned me off garmins.. but Brian suggested I use it to monitor my runs...so I did tonight..no beeps tho..4 miles in 45.03 mins...

I do know there are going to be good days and bad days running....and I've a long road ahead of me ( including hills! ).... I take my hat off to anyone who has done a full marathon...nut heads...and hopefully I will be one of those nut heads soon...

Am going to register my online entry thur...might have to drive to Limerick to suss out the route...loola

Week 15 ....3miles...might change my tactics...

My first marathon...that's my aim.... What's next? Well wait for it....roaming around on Facebook today a message flashed before my eyes..my glasses fogged with the hysteria... .I jumped up and down off my seat...all excited...Marcus (our Born To Run marathon coach) announces an Ultramarathon training group...it sounds lovely...25mins slow ( that's me that's me! jumping up and down off my seat...had to put the brakes on the chair with all the jumping!) and then 5 mins walk...woohoo I love walking... Why doesn't he let us walk for the five miles tho?! I bet he has an easy time with the other group strolling along the road looking at the birds and the trees ....while I sweat it out fecking and blinding along my 5 mile route...sneaky fecker....sounds lovely tho...if any of my patients asks me ' any plans for the summer?'... Well I was thinking of doing an Ultramarathon....mad! Maybe in another lifetime....I will offer my services as a ' Born To Run water girl' for their training if needed... everytime they'd pass me for a pit stop I could sing some of Brian's (Hayden) fav songs.... ' you're on the road to nowhere ( high pitched of course) or maybe ' I will walk 500 miles' la lala la la....

The run: it was grand tonight...Brian did give me one tip...try and take longer strides...I tried that coming around Fels Point ...didn't work...didn't feel comfortable but then again if it was comfortable I would be doing it already...so I'll try it again tomorrow night...haven't stopped once since my triumphant run up the hill the week before last...I've never given myself so many pats on the back! But if it kills me I will move up to the middle of the group... I'm getting faster slowly but surely,bit by bit....I have it in me but I just need to kick myself up the arse a couple of times and hope it works....must do some research on different food groups...am booking a Physio appt tomorrow to try and loosen out the legs ( aarrrgh do I have to strip?!) , and finally.....I can see actual real visible wear on my trainers...woohoo! I am a real runner now.....

34km cycle sun- a bit windy....

Went for a cycle sunday... 34 km to be exact, how juch in miles havent a clue but what is it about cycling that makes you feel much better?!getting out of bed was the tough part....heard some wind outside and the flicker of doubt entered into my head...ahhh ill get blown off the bike ...so ill stay in bed... but then the other side of me thinks of the marathon and finishing it (coming in last that is!!!)and that quickly hops me up out of bed and out the door...cycling is great for getting rid of the cobwebs....3miles running tonight....off the diet coke two weeks now..woohoo...

Sat 5 miles...never eating fish again....

Legs were very tired after wed nite,jittery and they felt swollen...kept having to widen my laces in work... normally I fly up and down the stairs,two steps at a time but thur and Friday I could have done with one of those stairlifts for grannies....bought a bucket of Epsom salts from Boots,had a bath Friday and it worked....now I can see why we need two rest days before the long run but my one fear on Friday was that 'how am I going to do this as I haven't ran in two days'...but once the legs got going that disappeared....

Hectic day in work friday so I was going to be adventurous and get something different for my dinner...of course I would have loved a McDonalds or the Burger Shack...anything other than pasta or veg..even the Big Mac with no chips-I would have made that sacrifice! but no I've running tomorrow...so bright idea like a light bulb glowing over my head...fish...it's good for me and haven't had it in ages...off I toddle into the Seafood shop...ask the question ' anything nice?' like a miss know it all...didn't see any battered cod with mushy peas...I see these small pieces with pink bits on the end of them...'what's that?'...scallops...how much?...well 35euros for a kg..do I look like a heifer?!....asked him what would a normal person eat...(if only he knew I was a ' runner'- maybe I should have went in my running pants and have a sweaty head on me!)....3-4 pieces is about right...ok I'll take them...hold on how do I cook them? pan sear them ...I just nod the head and pretend yeah yeah.......I had not a clue how to cook then...off I go home to pan sear my din dins... (don't even know if I've spelled it right! i am educated! )....plop them into the frying pan, turn them and wait...no instructions with them...split them all in half to see if there's any change...none so I decided to burn the arse out of them to make sure... Veg and scallops went down well but the rest of the night didn't...stomach churned and bubbled all nigh...was never so sick in all my life...didn't sleep a wink...learnt two lessons 1) I won't ask 'anything nice for my din dins' when I go shopping 2) never try anything new before my long runs, stick to pasta.....

Nearly didn't go running this smorning...felt crap...tried to force down a couple spoons of porridge... couldn't so had a slice of toast instead...but I knew I had to go, I'd be so disappointed with myself if I didn't ... So I did... Tried to chirp myself up in the car on the way in to running...drugs wouldn't have done the trick... 5 miles...was a bit slower than normal ( how much slower can I go! ) energy levels were low... Brian stayed with us all the way...yapping... and yapping....I gave a few grunts but did talk a bit ( its a start) ... he commented on my ability to talk...smartsrse....after the 2.7 mile to be exact.... It is true what they say ' you never talk about running when you're running ' and ' when your not running all you talk about is running ! ' drank all my drink... I think I had frought coming out of my mouth by the end of it...coming up to the Aquadome Brian informs me I have 50 seconds to make it to the car park and I'll have done the 5 miles in 1 hour to be exact... shite, my legs are about to fall off me, I'm starved and I've frought coming out of my mouth...and I'm sure my hair has turned into a ball of candy floss on top of my head from the wind and sweat....great I have to leg it like a looney tune to beat his clock...Catriona is in front of me running happily along...move bitch!I'm on a mission.....picked up speed... i'd say a granny with arthritis could have run faster...phew made it back ... 1 hour 4 secs he informs me.... Could he not have just lied to me the fecker! That's it, he's banned from talking to me....

Bought myself a running magazine today...and a dairy milk... the magazine said 'that there's a 39% reduction of cardiovascular disease and a 29 % reduction of strokes' ( in relation to chocolate) ....the running magazine has to be right....


Enjoyed today tho....15 miles this week woohoo! 16 miles next week.....

15 weeks to the big day.....

Wed night running 3 miles....tired tonight

Just doing some calculations... (clever aren't I!)including the sat run this week we'll have done 15 miles this week!!! Woohoo never in my like did i think I'd actually run that amount....even with the hills! That bloody hill is now an obsession...it will not beat me...I'm just plain lazy...

Half of the group were missing tonight.....and I still came in last!!! not too far off tho...driving in from Killarney this evening I wasn't in the mood for it tonight...legs were sore after last night and calfs were tight...so I going to have to get some Physio done...To be honest I dread it because it means stripping off and lying there practically naked ...and me wondering..' oh my god I hope there isn't a hole in my knickers!'...only ever been to Physio twice...first time was when I'd a crick in my neck..went in sat down in the waiting room and I couldn't get back up off the seat...he calls me in...I lie down flat on my belly...he hops ontop of me like a sumo wrestler...click...screech....perfect! but I refused to take my top off...told him to work around it! Came out traumatised but no crick...

Second time was when my back went after a car accident in the states...went in not prepared to strip off...stupid really but I'd convinced myself beforehand that I wouldn't have to strip...was jet lagged and delirious from the tiredness...she somehow convinced me to partially strip...bottoms off... Starts stretching me ...the usual..I bought knickers whilst over and they were too tight so Mrs Bouquet comes into action..I made a big slit down the side with a scissors and forget about it!.....I never apologised so much and I cringed with embarrassment....let's say I never returned for a review....but for running I do know I'll have to go...i'd go to the doctor only if I was in dire straits...last legs..I'm booked in for next week so must go knicker shopping....

But my one aim for this challenge is to never miss a night training unless my legs or my arms have falling off for some strange reason...the running group acts as a surrpot network and without it i would not be able to do this...it is a chance in a life time opportunity (eventhough on mon,tues,wed and sat i dont feetl that way)  and i would highly recommend it to anyone but its tough....and i do feck and blind a lot but sher if i didnt i'd be boring! Secretely, i'm beginning to enjoy running....just a tiny tiny bit....

Looking forward to Saturday 5 Miles....not!

Tues night- 4 miler...think I'm turning into a bit of a nuthead...

4 miler - means changing my comfort zone.... I like routine and have to know the route beforehand, otherwise I start act like Fr.jack...hair starts to stand ontop of the head.... I get the wild expressions on my face and the bottom lip gets a bit of a biting....so as usual I dream about the route...round and round I go...i probably pant like a heifer in my sleep because I do the same when running! Will I ever not worry?! Haven't a bloody clue... Valium would probably help...although
I has a cyst in my eye two years ago...went up to Tommy Regan the eye fella....he looks and says ...' we need to remove it'.... How? Flap back the eyelid and scrape it out!....Oh for fecks sake... torture at its highest...crapping myself... He wouldnt knock me out because it's such a small procedure...
well not for me it wasn't! he gave me Valium... Went in on the morning for 'the small procedure' .... was a nervous wreck all week...was getting images of Clockwork orange where yer man used clasps to keep the eye lid open..aaaarrrghhh ...knocked back the valium beforehand...great this will knock the stuffing out of me...waiting...waiting...waiting...I might as well have knocked back a box of tic-tacs....think the eyes were probably popping out of my head by the time I got into him...' ok lie down and relax' ... What the hell am I going to do..your mental head tablets haven't worked!the nurse told me to put the hands underneath my bum...did she think I was going to whack her one or what?! I was so wound up I couldn't go through with it... Think I left them more traumatised than me....and low and behold the cyst went after a couple of weeks... It was meant to be... At least I figured out that Valium did nothing for me! Loola....

The Run: The one thing I have noticed is the my legs are getting stronger and I still have a mental battle every-time I run...it gets a bit dis-heartening when people just pounce along past me...you know those loop ropes cowboys use to catch horses... Well I might surprise Marcus one night and bring one...it would be handy wouldn't it....losing the plot definitely...but so what if I'm last..someone has to be...couldn't get my heifer breathing right until about the three mile mark....then when I got up the hill without stopping may I add...very proud... all the stress just seems to lift! even-though I'm practically crouched over at this stage...I had no Marcus or Brian tonight to feck and blind...I miss that....maybe if I start shouting from afar they might hear me! Today was a bad day for the cravings for diet coke....would have gone into any shop with a balaclava and grabbed a tinny for myself... Headline in the Kerryman newspaper' Born to run member seen legging it with a crate of diet coke-Runner all coked up'......

Did the 4 miles without stopping..

1st Official Training night for the Limerick Marathon! aaahhhh!

Ok, 10 weeks down...of preliminary training... woohoo! Started our initial training on Nov 7th up in the IT Tralee with Marcus (Born To Run Marathon Training Group)...round and round the campus...never really knew that campus but now I do, including all the hilly bits...i do remember one (of many!)bad day of training....it was pouring rain, hailstones and wind... Stopped started that day and was tormented with myself... Brian had to drag me up the hill practically...and it wasnt really a hill...he was trying to tell me take small steps at a time but really in my own mind I was fecking and blinding him...would he ever shag off and leave me alone! (to be blunt!)... I sat in the car and said I was never coming back...but I had a good chat with myself...loola...and I did go back...if this marathon training was going to be easy, everybody would be doing it...slowely but surely,day by day, it gets a little easier....but I have to keep focused obviously...

The one thing that I have figured out is that running has given me routine...and structure...everything I do nowadays is based around running...here is a few examples...

Willl I go to McDonalds on a Friday night and scoff a Big Mac meal and people watch in the car park whilst filling my belly? No I've running tomorrow! and I want to run all the way...

Will I book a nice meal in Bella Bia and order the Brushetta (which kills me but it's worth it!) No, I've running in the morning....

Will I stay up late and watch a DVD or whatever....no I need to go to bed early for running tomorrow....

So I'm turning into a Nun...all I need is the Rosary beads and say ' bless you' more!

Running has good points also...I eat porridge for my breakfast, I always pre make my lunch for work, bring my carbonated bottles of water everywhere with me otherwise I'd be legging it into the shop for the black stuff...but im peeing like a trooper! and I have a proper dinner...but to make all this happen I make sure I do a proper shop for the week and pre plan my dinners...if I didn't have everything planned I'd fall off the wagon...

After the run on sat I felt good... Delighted in fact...went for a 20k cycle Sunday morning at 8.30.....it was bloody bitter cold...stopped in Topaz at the Fat Mile for a long chat with the rest of the group... nearly cried with the pain in my fingers but I had to do this because I feel it helps my breathing etc...not worth it tho!

Ordered a DVD from the states called ' Spirit of the Marathon' .... I'd said I'd watch it when I'd hit my first milestone and the was sat, my 5 miler! So i watched it on sun afternoon...It's more a documentary rather than a film and it follows runners right through to the Chicago Marathon...loved it...I would recommend it to anyone as a boost mentally....but would have loved chocolate, tayto's, and pop corn to accompany me during the vid....anything really! had a chuppa chup lolly instead to keep the ould mouth occupied!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8XSit8XyeM

The Run: Ok was kind of looking forward to running tonight ( mad! Me like running , never!)..... came loaded with my tissue and barley sweets....Had a good blow in the car in preparation! Took off steady... But felt good...I don't talk whilst running...if anyone tries to strike up a conservation all I do is grunt....hit the corner by the aquadome before the dreaded hill...controlled my breathing...head down...talking away to myself to distract me... slowly but surely, and I mean slowly I start to go up, no pants falling down, breathing good.... up and up and up and up and up....Catriona tells me to relax...F&$k off you F$¥ker was my answer to be honest!! but I made it!....panting like a heifer!! result!! ....

This running business is a full time job....

Saturday run - 5 Miler- out come the new pants!

Well, I spent thur night running the 5 mile route in my sleep...so when I went to bed Friday night- I decided feck this I have to come up with another tactic... So the mind starts to drift...z z z z z...z z z z z ran the same route again ..up the hill!.... Seriously since ive starting this training I'm constantly nervous before every run...and am not sleeping properly...maybe its the withdrawal from the Diet Coke woohoo 7 days off the black stuff!

Unfortunately, I sadly had to put my old running pants in the bin on friday....it was a year old, v sad day I must admit.... I had a bad fall off my bike during the summer and it was even on me for that but held up... R.I.P. pants.Had to wear the new ones around the house like a nut head...to break them in..

Route: aquadome, up the blooming hill, past rugby club to top of road, turn right, past playing field into Blennerville,along canal and home

Got up this smorning,ate my rocket fuel porridge, didn't go down too well but I force fed myself like a baby ontop of a high chair with a feeding bib!

Was very nervous... Started at the aquadome, running of course .... Up ' the hill' ... Brian Hayden (other coach) gave me a tip last Wednesday to breath through my nose... so here I go... Had to focus on my breathing and the hill....in out in out.... Shite I need to blow my nose... Ok I'll worry bout it later once nobody looks at my nose dribbling...I got up the hill ...fecking great! Had to control my breathing again.... In out in out... Brian forgot to mention the tiny matter of bringing a blooming tissue to catch the debris! I could feel my nose flapping and it was getting worse! Catriona to the rescue...out comes a tissue like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat! If anyone saw me they'd think I was having a good poke....I swear I wasn't!Had a good few blows....relief...

Kept running, the next obstacle I had to overcome was the slow incline past the rugby club... For the last two 5 milers I've stopped and walked...ok had to focus in out in out ... Blow ... Blow (my nose !)In out in out ... I said once I got to the top that I'd have a break but I took small steps and I kept going and going and going.... Delighted...just needed to get past that mental block about that part of the route....I did it...woohoo...
Kept running and running at geriatric pace .... Sipping, blowing, and in out in out....hit the bend before the football pitch....saw the rest of the group a good bit ahead... Had to catch them.... At this point 2 sheep doggies decided to give us a police escort all the way to the end of the road! Woohoo company at last- event if it was of the animal kind....I'd say they heard the strange noises and felt sorry for me!!

I got closer and closer to the rest of the group- - delighted I'm actually running with people, real people! found the last mile tough along the canal.... Told Marcus to bugger off, I had to focus but alas.... I did it... Didn't stop once... I am now a 5miler runner... But a long way to go to reach 26.2.....

P.S. walked past Der O Sullivans in the afternoon and started salivating at the window!!! Would have loved a bun... But no, feck him for putting them on display... Bought a bag of Johnny O rings instead... Have been T- total so I deserved them!

Wed run...3rd time unlucky but nearly there...

Am tired tonight...had to drive to cork today for a meeting (did eat my porridge tho!)and was worried about being out of my normal routine...normally I'd stop in Lissarda for an oluld bar of chocolate and would knock back a diet coke just to break up the drive (and for a pee pee of course!),but this smorning I trotted away in,bypassed the sweet counter and headed for my carbonated bottle of water...I had to avoid looking at the sweet counter on the way to the till...stared out the window whilst paying!! Nuthead.,. Legged it to car, opened my water and it sprayed all over me...! Great soggy pants for the rest of my drive...ate lunch in Rochestown Park...scanned the menu and,went for the toasted special and salad and H20...she went on to name today's specials: beef burger,steak etc : does this woman know what I'm trying to achieve at the moment...Ballyard hill!

I'm going to tell a story that I have kind of pushed to the back of my mind...last April ,May I attempted running... Stopping and starting so Catriona (crap coach!) decided to sign a group of us up for the 5k race in Macroom in June...nerve wrecking week not a mind self destructing one... We all drove up happy happy but I was bricking it...I remember eating a twirl on the way up thinking it would help me! Race started...too bloody fast...it started at the Toyota Garage and I was walking by the time I got to The Castle hotel... the bottom lip starting going at that stage... walked,ran walked ,ran (multiply that by 50!) my mind was all over the place(fecking and blinding to myself....not good!) the route was a circle around Macroom and the end of the route came back down the big hill on the cork side of Macroom...at this stage I sneakily removed my number and tried to act like an onlooker ( as if! Who was I kidding ...the jogging pants,big red head and the bottom lip going gave it away!) walked up the town on the footpath and I stupidly refused to go through the finish line...I was like a baby throwing my dummy out of the pram! Worst day of my life...cried in the car and the bottom lip was still going!...never again I said... Am not a bloody runner, leave me be...but here i am...running...might be a tad bit slow but at least I'm not on the couch watching the box dreaming about getting fit and losing weight...

Nora Flynn from Killarney Fit For Life trying to coax me along....no hope!

Tonight I nearly did the hill...just nearly...with Brian's and Catriona's help ( thanks a million, I do sincerely appreciate their help-couldn't do this without them) was thinking of taking bets (might as well make a few bob outta this!) will it be Monday,Tuesday or Wed that I make it up this damn hill??? That's the question...cash in hand only...

Tues 5k inclusive of pants falling down....

2 days off the diet coke....woohoo! Kathleen ( a girl who runs the office) is also a current advocate of diet coke...we were diet coke buddies..if I was ever running low she was always there to offer me my fix...those were the days..so today I was scoffing back my brown bread ham sandwich ( p.s. I did have my lumpy porridge this smorning - pat on the back for me!) and then I hear the sizzle of the can opening....gulp gulp gulp... It was the biggest gulp ive ever seen ( maybe this is an exaggeration because my eyes were bulging with the jealously!)...I retreated to my pre-filled bottled of Dunnes carbonated water and ribena...feck her anyway...I'm going to leave a ransom note in the kitchen tomorrow morning in exchange for her diet coke...great Craic...I do work by the way!

The run: only had half a banana at 4 because the rest of it was black! Recessionary banana I'd call it..I was starved still...Marcus forgot about the walking again tonight...fecks sake...note to self:must remind him. I have this philosophy where if I stay at the top of the pack and dont let anyone pass and create a traffic jam things would be great! If I keep my hands in a star shape that would help!!!...loola. God the pace was fast tonight...was under pressure to control my breathing but I was determined not to fall back to the geriatric category...passing the tennis courts my pants starts falling down... What a sight with the passing traffic...cringe... Heavy breathing like a pregnant woman in labour and high waisted pants falling down!! Next comes 'the Hill'.... Catriona forgot her knitting needles to poke me up the hill so she threatened me tonight with a blow torch!!! Great puncture wounds and arse burns!! A & E would love me... Nurse would ask ' what happened?'...Me..'.just out running...you should join its great craic!' stopped again (yawn yawn...) up that bloody hill, I will beat it. Ran fast down the hill but the pants keep dropping... I only ran fast because the feckers in front weren't too far ahead and I could'nt catch them...Blame the pants...but I bought a new one over Xmas and much prefer my comfort pants for the time being...made it to Aquadome gate and Marcus was with 'the new girl' and he states to her ' your did very well tonite,the rest of them have been training for the last ten weeks'.....but I think to myself ... Well feck that anyway....in my previous life I never even ran across the road...and now I'm running up the road but I keep on running...

Monday 5k run inclusive of hills.....great

Ok...today is monday so it's a fresh start...I'm giving up diet coke and am going to start eating porridge for breakfast. Woohoo I might as well detox if I'm going to do this marathon.To be honest with myself I'm practically addicted to diet coke...I drink (or should I say drank-today is day 1-might set up diet cokers anonymous if anyone wants to join!) 3-4 cans a day...those 24 can offers in Dunnes are to blame..went into Dunnes sunday and bought carbonated water and Ribena (sugar free of course! ) Sunday night the cravings set in....the shakes..oh jesus dreaming about the fizz.....nuts i know but i loved it....I will do this.

 Porridge is the next implement (vom....)lumpy breakfast for the next few months - but I had to have it with milk otherwise I might as well join the nuns...
Brian (Hayden - he's the other trainer with Marcus ) quoted porridge as being 'rocket fuel' - brilliant I thought to myself...finally something that will help me keep running...happy happy...delighted with myself the cupboards are stocked with porridge...mmm if anyone calls to the house instead of tea it will be 'porridge anyone?'.

The Run:the nerves started at around 4,whilst scoffing my banana...will I ever be not nervous?? It gets pretty tiring worrying...I went to bed last nite and instead of counting sheep I was running up Ballyard hill....amazing I did it (in my sleep!..ahhh loola! Seriously!)Run started from the aquadome...I think Marcus forgot to start the walking part tonite!...maybe I might remind him that a stroll at the start is good for the legs...I'd say there's Bob Hope and No Hope!

Was fine for the flat part... little bit slow but like I said if Marcus let me warm up with a nice little stroll ...perhaps past the viewing tower...anything would have done! Then comes the hill...oh for gods sake what am I worried about its only a bloody hill! Thank god it's dark coz I can't see it properly...I stop half way up...shite...if only I was doubled jointed I would have loved to give myself a kick up my own arse!! Catriona (my support crew-thanks!) She threatens me that she's bringing a knitting needle tomorrow nite to poke me with every time I stop! Great, I love going into work with puncture wounds!! Loola...I get going again and stop once more....aarrggghh where's my knitting needle! But finally I run all the way home...only because it's downhill! must have some sugar free fizz...by the way the porridge didn't work Brian! But I will keep eating it..love a lumpy breakfast....

7th Jan 2011 2nd 5miler

Was looking forward to my 3 mile run on sat.even posted on Facebook 'looking forward to it'!...stupid eejit ..Marcus texts fri evening with the news of a 5 miler! Bloody great...ruin my nights sleep again! Wasn't on form to be honest...did my usual mileage during the week but with going back to work after xmas I was absolutely exhausted.

The run: great news no walking just running...how nice Marcus..thanks a lot for ruining my life!

D-day:I had to run up Ballyard hill...shoot me now..he had the cheek to make us run from the car park....no looking at the viewing tower, just head down and run...didn't see any ambulance men waiting at the top so I figured I had to keep running...again I stopped at the bloody same hill...

First 5 miler:

Route;aquadome,Up Ballyard Hill ,past rugby club,turn right along back of Blennerville and back along the river.

Had to ask Marcus were we running up Ballyard Hill? No! Woohoo whehey!!!!!party!!!
That settled me a bit but it was still 5 miles...we start off walking..lovely jobeley, I even take time to look at the new viewing tower..ahhh it looks lovely... Up the hill a little bit... 'ok start running'... Shite you must be joking me,I'm not bloody ready you fecker! Ok had to pace myself... Christ I going so slow I'm causing a traffic jam with the rest of the group behind me...please let my lace open! Any excuse will do....

Ok twenty mins in and I start to struggle..I can feel a hill coming on (am going to call this fear hillitis from not on!)

I stop.....

Why?havent a bloody clue...I have a couple of excuses 1)didn't sleep a wink last night worrying 2)had a very upset tummy from the worry 3) mental failure..need an NCT

Ok I look to Catriona for support...she sees me struggling..'c'mon keep running'...shag off and leave me alone!she gets the hint and we walk for 2mins then run again..Marcus stays with us...gee thanks for staying back with the geriatrics...but I kept running once I was past the incline(Marcus would probably consider my incline a speed bump...oh I'd love to be a runner).

Ran all the way ... 5miles took 1hr 4mins. I was delighted.even-though I was last in the group I didn't care.

We'll skip to Week 4-pissing rain....

Look out the window at work-absolutely pelting rain outside-texted Marcus with fingers crossed that running would be cancelled.

Actual txt:is running still going ahead today?!
And:yes

That's a definite then Marcus!shite forgot my hair dryer.ok I have to go....oh god almighty this is going to be tough..Rain and wind..5mins walking,15mins running inclusive of a hill aaahhhh....conked at the base of the hill..so disappointed with myself for giving up.feck it anyway why do I put myself through this...talking away to myself ' I'm not doing this anymore,can't be bothered with this crap,feck Marcus'. But I'm not doing it for him..I want to go to New York and he is giving up his free time dragging deadweights up this blooming hill! God help him for the next few months because he doesn't know what he has left himself in for with my mental abuse!.

Marathon Runner?Me?.....not a hope in hell

What I want to achieve:To run a marathon...

Me:33yrs old,overweight (not telling you my weight but I need to lose 5 stone),hate exercise and have never done any exercise....until recently...midlife exercise crisis I'd call it.

Ok all this started last summer 2011...I climbed carriuntouhill (can't spell it!) oh jerseys even the thought of it sends the shakes...it has been the toughest thing I've ever done..weather was hurricane like, fog and was ill prepared...literally I thought I was going for a leisurily long stroll but in actual face the guide had to tie me onto a dog leash to make sure I got down the mountain...soaked wet,feet blistered ,cranky and starved(couldn't eat my Mars bar coz I was so tired....but I did it! (7hrs later!).would I do it again...definitely not!

So from that running started,did bits here and there but never really accomplished much to be honest with myself.I'm a bit like Fr.Jack from Fr.Ted..mad looking from the fact of actually doing the exercise and a teeth grinder from the fustration of running.I hate sweating(sweating=exercise) and I hate hills....get the shakes like a belly dancer....and the sweats again.

Have done all the quickie diets...none worked..a warning should come on the packet:'don't forget to sit back from the table'.so this time I'm going to convert from a jhogger to a runner if it kills me.

Nov 7th 2011 I decided to join Born To Run running group Tralee with Marcus Howlett being the head honcho.

Aim:Limerick Marathon in May and New York Marathon in Nov (to be honest Limerick hasnt got the shopping appeal like NY-but I will get there if it kills me (to the shops that is-Starbucks and Macy's here I come!).

1st day:oh christ what am I doing..the drive in the car takes 8-10mins from work and the legs start to jitter...must go for a pee but decide to hold it in.I have the gear on,sucking a glucose sweet and the mind goes ninty...5mins walking(ok that sounds nice) and 5 mins running(shite:is there hills?..I hope not).the rest of the group looks fit...I will do this. The walk was lovely then I hear 5,4,3,2,1 oh god here we go...shoulders gone on strike,hands clench and have to keep focused..can't stop on the first day. Keep chatting to myself to keep me focused but it's tough chatting to a loola.Marcus tells us that it's 26 weeks till the marathon...oh shut up and let me do 5mins first.What planet is he on seriously (this is the inner jogger talking Marcus,not me).