Monday 4 miles...most enjoyable run yet

It is a miracle..

I actually enjoyed my run tonight! Woohoo,no mental head tendencies came to surface and the 'worry' factor vanished...I was going to say ' the worry factor has vanished for now... but from this evening....come 6.30...I am a mental head no more....I am now a positive mental head....

I sat myself down this evening and had a good chat...

I made a declaration:
I Annie Horgan will not grind my teeth whilst running,I will not tense up and go into rigor mortis at any sign of a route change.i will try and have a conversation whilst running even if it's abusive,I will not put myself under pressure and worry all night before the long runs and arrive the next morning at the run with a mad look on my face from all the worry,and finally....I will just go out there and run...and enjoy it for what it is....and be proud ....

The run tonight: fabulous evening for running...I'd say there was about 30 people out tonight which was a great turnout...thanks be to god the evenings are getting longer...i normally hibernate for the winter but this winter I didn't.. started off running around the car park and then headed out of the car park...up the road...and across...I really thought Marcus was changing our route and I did tense up but only for a brief moment...but relaxation techniques kicked in...went onto You tube today and watched a few breathing technique videos like a loola....if anyone saw me...I was copying the guy in the video....breath from the lower belly and not the chest...had to turn the volume down cause there were patients in the waiting room and they'd think what the feck is she doing inside! Heavy breathing like a donkey on helium.....but I must say it made sense...and I'm not into quackery but shorter breathing spans is not good...so tonight I tried to breath from my belly....it worked....felt much better...I am now a belly breather...

We were like the pied pier clan......

The group tonight was lively...very easy going...and we seem to gel really well...it good to have a bit of craic and it breaks up the run...normally I'd isolate myself and try and get to the back but tonight I said feck it I'll just run and see what happens...there was about ten in our group...including Fr jack at the back ( aka Jerry O Sullivan)...he was piping up all the way...educating us on the russian translation for grandmother! And everytime we saw a runner or walker he'd holler out loud ' runner runner runner'! And we'd all laugh...like a bunch of school kids on a day trip...but I must say I enjoyed it...i do realise its very important to run with other people and not be a lone runner...


I will stick to my runners declaration...6 miles tomorrow night....belly breathing it is....

P.S. I'm still of the sweet stuff...had sugar free jelly last night.....vom....tasteless...

Sat run- 11.46 miles....don't look to me to encourage new runners to start!

Yesterday was 'worry day'....all day and all night this run was on my mind...this running malarkey is seriously turning me into a nut head...and I'm definitely not a poster girl to encourage anyone to start running!...definitely not...

A couple of things added to my worry..new route, a few of my comfort slow crew would be missing, Marcus not being there, and it was going to be 10 miles...or so i thought...my first double digit run....

Got up this s'morning...nervous...what else would I be...nut head tendencies kicked in during my nights sleep and I didn't sleep a wink running the route even-though I didn't know the route!

Started off in the aquadome....wasn't in my usual comfortable form...just knew I didn't feel right...Brian was our coach for the run...he explained the route and to be honest I hadn't a clue where we were going...off we go round the back of the aquadome towards Fels points...went onto the main rd and swung a right into the playground near lidl...couldn't get my breathing levels right...probably due to the loola stress levels...the group kind of split at this stage...headed up towards caherwisheen...hadn't a clue where I was...never been up that road before...worry sets in...where the feck are we going and how long for...as you know I like to know my route and didn't recognise any land marks..can't help it really...but nuthead here started to tense...tried to calm myself but it wasn't working...just at the base of the short mountain panic sets in...got a panic attack! couldn't breath and just lost it really...felt sick...with worry...knew it was coming on as my breathing was getting quicker and quicker and finally I just was gasping for breath like a fecking nutter...

I only ever had one panic attack before and that was when I was out cycling doing a 90k stint and I on the way home I fell off the bike and got thrown over the handle bars right into the middle of the road! Hands banjaxed, handle bars bent and couldn't see my mobile phone...and was out in the middle of nowhere....took ten mins to bring myself round with shock!

So with this one...stopped,calmed myself and started off again quickly...Brian waited up ahead a little...still wasn't settled...he knew something was up...but kept going...the sun was out...was sweltered...next week I'm wearing my short pants!...to be honest the rest of the run was a blur....went up toonavane...I'd say today was Brian's toughest day running yet...I gave him and Catriona abuse a couple of times ( in a nice way!) took a break up Toonavane...some of the rest of the group went on ahead up the trail route...that would be my worst nightmare...think half of them went missing but we headed back down toonavane and retreated along Kearney's rd again...the long rd home...about 4/5 miles left....some took the shortcut home and took a left back the rugby club road...but I said to myself that even if I walk ran the rest of the route I'm doing the whole thing...stubbornness set in...

Must say fair deuce to Brian for sticking with me all the way...myself, Brian, Catriona and Hazel did the last 3 miles together...no drink left, parched,boiling hot and feet sore...kinda-of hobbled into the Aquadome...home at last...

it was by far my toughest day yet...and Brian's!...but I didn't give up...and I did every bit of it...and I never said once that ' I'm giving up running'...but one thing I do know is that because I had a bad long run this saturday that next week I will come back stronger.....

11.46 miles...to be exact

P.S. thanks Brian

Wed night...4.3 miles...looking forward to Sat 10 miles

Well,Fat tuesday is over and I've a long couple of weeks to go without the sweet stuff...why am I doing it...well why not! I have to become more innovative with my food to compensate...

The run tonight... Well because Marcus ditched us tonight....the fecker...I like routine and it didn't feel the same...but I still ran it...

I was saying to Catriona tonight whilst running I will have to stop being so negative about running...even in the blog..I'm not a complainer in general...quite easygoing in fact...but I can't start fibbing and make up airy fairy stories about my running...such as follows
" oh my run tonight was fantastic! Yippee.., I bounced and skipped the 5 miles...chatted all the way about life in general and I didn't sweat once, I feel wonderful"

Feck that...

Tonight was tough like every other bloody night..I plodded all the way,grunted a few times to let people know I was still there,sweated ...was in fact sweltering because it was so dead out there tonight and was glad I made it home! That's my version...I feel comfortable at my pace...10/12 min miles...everyone else runs like they belong in a greyhound track with them chasing the hare round the ring! I'm the donkey...happy out...long distances suit me...if you put me out doing a 5 k race I'd probably freak out with the pressure...

The group is doing Ballybunion Half in a couple of weeks as a baseline race so am looking forward to that...not! there's my negativity again...it will be my first proper race where I'll be running all the way home to the finish line...I'll have done two 16 milers before that so it should be fine...toes crossed

Roll on sat 10 miles or so...

Note to Brian: please please please take it easy on us for sat! Marcus is like a security blanket and it's hard to leave him go! But I know ul look after us...I won't give you any guff...

Tues 5 miles...today is Fat Tuesday!

Normally I'd run on a Monday but The Boss ( aka Marcus) told me not to come...I should rest after my flu etc...finished work yesterday evening and I was thinking to myself what the feck will I do to occupy myself...no running...

what did I do before I starting running...tv,ate,tv,taytos,shower,tv,bed ( knackered normally)....now everything is different...as I've said in a previous blog since I've started this running malarkey I have not started any fad diets or normally Mondays would be Diet Day...I'd go all out-starve myself,pissey soup,water,pee all day and come 6 o clock I'd be ravishing and ate all round me...then the guilt would set in...a vicious circle really...but alas I am a changed nuthead....I have a routine caused by running and an added bonus is that it's a social thing also...and it's free...

So bored out of my tree last night, thumbs twiddling....I thought ' what can I do to make this running malarkey better'...well so far I've given up smoking,my daily intake of 5 cans of diet coke is a distant memory,I eat lumpy porridge and I prepare all my food for the day ahead ( stops me frothing about McDonalds!)....so me being a runner with a bit of a screw loose,Lent is my next challenge...and no I'm not a holy joe...I just like my food too much and sweet stuff...

I've come up with a new meaning to the word Lent....

Let's Eat No Treats...that took me ages!

So like a loola,.. Fat Tuesday (today) was my indulgence day... Pancakes galore! Woohoo ive probably put on a stone overnight but who cares I'll be sugar starved for the next forty days....well its actually 46...a child patient informed me today that it includes Sunday's...never knew that...when I was younger I'd bore holes in the back of my Easter eggs and sneakily eat the back half to get a head start...and then head into confession...stuffed may I add... and lie through my teeth...I'm sure every kid lied in confession!!

Might try this trick to keep me away from the sweet stuff.....

So I'm cutting out all sweet stuff....

The shakes are setting in already...but I've my final bag of Taytos to munch through tonight and then I'll be T-total....

I can do this...

If I can do it anyone can do it...I've just emptied my sweet cupboard out...looks very bare and lonely...sad day...and my lunch for tomorrow looks very bare...sandwich, apple, banana, kiwi,water and that's bloody it!

Ran 5 miles tonight...pissing rain, windy, and paddy last....but I did it...it was tough after missing so much over the last two weeks and I wasn't sleeping properly over the coughing with the chest infection...Mags and Sheila were with Catriona and myself tonight.....not used to running with real people...nuthead...

4 miles tomorrow...1st day of ' Let's Eat No Treats Campaign'....tough....

Back from the flu...9 miles saturday run...feck!

Chest infection really knocked it out of me for the last two weeks...am a very bad patient and didn't go to see the GP until tues last...pig headed and self medication wasn't working...went back to work Monday and still felt shite...so took tues off and went to see the doc...had no choice as I was never going to make the sat run if I didn't go...

So off I trot...pleaded for an appt and it worked..went in , explained that I needed a quick fix with a tormented look on my face...coughed and splurted like a nuthead...told me I was too stubborn for my own good... I agreed...

So he put me on a nebuliser for 15 mins...never in my life have I had any breathing problems but this made me feel like ' puff the magic dragon'! had a plastic mask over my face and everytime I breathed steam comes out... Christ all I needed was the rocking chair and my dressing gown to fullfill the ould granny picture! But I felt so much better...armed with my prescription, i gleefully popped into the pharmacy for some proper drugs...woohoo am on the way to running my 9 miles! he asked me was I allergic to penicillin, me; not that I know of...on Thursday my face broke out like chicken pox! feck i was an absolute disgrace...if I drew lines linking every spot I could have played a game of join the dots!! It's bad when a patient asks me "am I feeling alright and you don't look too well"! Talk about ruining my day! Changed antibiotic and toes crossed its calmed down a good bit...

Join the dots will have to wait...

Marcus told me to come back running wed...he was 100% right that I wouldn't be ready till then..of course he was right as usual!

So didn't feel like it as I had been hibernating for the week and early bed nights made me even more tired but I had to go do I did...did 3 miles but stopped a couple of times...think mentally I was lazy..

How the hell am I going to do 9 miles on Saturday! fear, imaginary pains and mental despair set it...

Got back to my porridge breakfasts and benecol and in general proper food to build me up...drank plenty of fluid, peeing like a trooper I was going to be ready for Saturday if it kills me...

Friday night came...nervous...woke up at half three mid sleep dreaming of the route...shite..needed my sleep..took me ages to conk again...eyes rolling like a nuthead...

Got up Saturday morning...D-Day has arrived...my longest run ever...

Ate my lumpy porridge, benecol and tea..looked at my face in the mirror and I could still play join the dots so put on some make up to cover the rash, stupid really as I'd be sweating it all off anyway..but who cares it made me feel better! wore a hat...

Arrived into the aquadome shitting myself to be brutally honest! will I be able for this?, am I ready?haven't a bloody clue but I'll try...

The group has gotten so much smaller...I was going to put my heart and soul into this run...if I didn't I'd give up..

Off we go...10 sharp...down the beloved canal...hate the canal..normally I'd count the potholes but today we were jumping over big puddles like happy kids on a day out...1 mile down woohoo...

cross over at the bridge...towards the barge..new part of the route was to carry on towards the cockleshells..rough terrain..pain in the arse to be honest wanted to save my legs...jumping up and down and worrying would I fall flat on my arse...I didn't...thank god..

Hit Blennerville Bridge...nose flapping..I was worrying all the way back the bank was my nose dribbling and I didn't want to stop to blow my nose incase I fell behind..loola.. but had a blow coming up Blennerville...felt so much better! nose, clear, breathing controlled, sweating, hat felt comfortable,felt good.....

Trotted along...Catriona offered me a drink..told her to feck off I need to focus..Marcus was pacing us all the way..hit Blennerville pitch...sun was out..hate heat...so I started to swelter..couldn't rub my forehead as I was worried I'd smudge the makeup off and knowing me I'd have a big streaky makeup line across my face like a pavee! found that road tough...long...

Kept the head down.... I so wanted to stop, even for 30 secs...but didn't...

Hit the bend at the equestrian sign, turned right towards Toonavane...how the f$¥k am I going to make it up the dreaded hill....focus focus focus...tried to console myself..."c'mon you mental head you can do it"...had a good chat with myself...if anyone heard the conversation going on in my head, I would definitely be admitted with the white coats...

Hit the start of Toonavane hill... C'mon scitzo u can do it...poor Marcus has to put up with a lot...pole to pole...woohoo...fine smell of manure to coax us on...was tired and the smile on my face was weaning v quickly...up...and up....and up...and up....and bloody up...hit the top woohoo! kiss my fat ass goodbye,we got there!

Break?...no bloody break! I was expecting a camp fire and some sandwiches for the journey home....nothing! Feck Marcus anyway! Torture...not really, if I stopped running I think Rigor Mortis would have set in...

Trotted down the hill... Loved it no pressure on the legs... Meet a lovely doggie outside a house... Beagle I think... I'd swear he was smiling at us, he looked happy to see us...i was smiling like a delirious nut head...

Marcus gets chatting...get talking about the group... he tells us look behind...I saw no-one..." yeah, they're all at home and not running anymore"... smartarse...but a true smartarse! We are without a doubt the luckiest group out there...for all those reading this who have given up...it was very easy for me to give up running, but I didn't...the Born To Run Group led my Marcus and the group are the reasons I didn't...from this smorning with people asking how I was and the closeness of the group,these are the reasons why I got through today...running is probably the hardest thing I've done...got through university, worked deliriously long hours, climbed carrountouhill ( that was a bitch!)got through the recession...But running has been the toughest...but most rewarding...

Retreated back home...2 miles to go...hit just before the canal... No drink left! was bloody parched...started to faulter...fell behind a little bit but I was nearly home...happy happy...delirious...walked for ten secs to blow the nose...stiff... oh god it was the longest ten minutes ever... The rest of the group were a bit ahead...kept plodding along... hit the Marina apartments and I see Marcus coming back for us...thank f$¥k am nearly home...losing the plot at that stage..told Marcus that " that was the longest fecking mile ever and I hate the fecking canal!"... he didnt take any notice of me...could u not blame him...

oh my god...

9.36 bloody miles I ran...am delighted...over the moon...went to the Grand Hotel for my lunch...starved..but when I went to get back up the legs just seized!

Didn't care, I've just ran 9.36 miles to be exact...

( apologies for long blog but I haven't blogged for nearly a week and a half!)