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Thursday, 22 March 2012

Tues 5 miles ,Wed 6.36 miles,Thurs 5 miles...the midgees were out in full support!

Was on a bit of a downer after Sundays run...just was not a happy camper....so I had to get my arse back in gear...literally...

Loola thoughts have to go....I'm very good at putting myself down and having no confidence...running is very hard but I'm making it harder for myself by stressing and always thinking the worst....that's why I think running is going to turn me into a complete nut head! It's coming to near the end of the marathon training and I actually feel as if I'm going backward...

This week I had a change of scenery...tues went running around Fenit...being honest I didn't do the full 5 miles tues but I wasn't far off...wed I went running with Hazel and Catriona....for the first time I realise how important it is to have running buddies...they distracted me the whole way round with chit chat (yes it is a first woohoo!) and idle comments like ' is that a dog or a small horse' ( Couldn't figure out what it was!)...the midgees kept my occupied..I was doing pretend sword fights all the way round and the odd spit here and there...one got into my eye and normally I'd stop but I wanted to keep going....c'mon I'm training for a bloody marathon I can't be stopping! fecking midgees....

This evening I was working in Killarney so myself and Catriona decided to run the 5 miles around the national park...it was nice for a change...didn't seem as mundane...it was pissing rain but that didn't bother me..I am a runner....even managed to crack a few jokes...very quickly tho!

Anyone who thinks of running as being fun does not know the meaning of it! The first ten minutes of every run is hellish every time....running requires an effort every time.....but I do understand and have accepted that for every run I have to just buck up mentally....so as for me to avoid unnecessary disappointment and motivation meltdown...the after affects on bad days really just wear you down...but the good days outweigh the bad...

16 miles again this sat...I promise to do my very best....for me...

Monday, 19 March 2012

Sun 16 miles....definitely one for the record books but for all the wrong reasons!

Ok....16 miles...what a disaster...well the last few miles were torture...

Started out at 9.30 in the aquadome carpark...sun was shining again...Marcus promised me that the temp would be low...bob hope and no hope...driving in on sat morning it's a bad sign if I've to put on the sunglasses driving...shite it's going to be another roasting hiding under the trees run...

Started off slow pace...it's gonna be a long one...there were about ten in our group....Marcus loaded up his rugsack beforehand with our drinks...the poor fecker...he quoted its training for his Ultramarathon...even the thought of that makes me sick to the bottom of my tummy...what mad eejit would run 100 miles...there is no sane reason whatsoever..definitely a screw loose there...but I suppose he has to have to put up with us...

Skipped along ' the road by lidl' and up to the usual caherwisheen cross....was quiet this smorning even I don't talk very much anyway but I was kinda of focus on settling myself...takes me about 20 mins to thaw out the loola tendencies and then I begin to settle....an extra two miles this week...great another shite weekend...sore trunks,gaunt look and yawning....

We swing a left at the top of the road...was feeling good...sun was out...lovely jubley... love wearing wetty sweaty t shirts on a sat morning...plod along...Marcus keeps going and going and going along the back road...hit the back rd to castlemaine and crossed over like a group of swans crossing the road...there was a man at the junction waiting to pull out and his car conked with all the gawking at us...the poor fella didn't know what was coming towards him...we all laughed...

Retreated back the long road....towards the base of the short mountain...don't even ask me why but I started to stress...it just comes out of nowhere....ever since I've started this running I constantly feel stressed! Not good for the ould tic tock but I might consider bringing out some brown paper bags for the panic attacks....all ul see on the side of the road is a red faced sweaty loola hiding underneath the trees with a brown paper bag over the gob trying to breath! what a sight...

Will any run be a good run...don't think so..

Was kind of ok till roughly near the base of the hill before toonavane....I'm definitely not born to be a runner...I just stressed all the way...then the stress just upsets the whole run....I going to have to come up with some mechanism to de-stress....maybe if I gave up running that would be the obvious ans but I'm not a quitter...well this time I'm not...too much work has gone into it this time and the marathon is so close....

At the base of tonavane i walked for a min...The group weren't too far ahead...I'd say about 2 mins...but in my own mental head I just acted like a delirious nuthead....saw some of the faster group coming down the hill towards me...normally id begin to run again until they ran past me just to save face...but stubborn me just walked and I wasn't a happy camper at this point so I didn't give a hoot who saw me!

Ran up toonavane....and up further up the hill again...knew it was going to be a long road home...5 miles to go...wasn't woohooing at this stage...took a gel but really I think they do feck all for me.... I might as well be popping tic tacs......they are revolting and always when I take one I make very strange faces like a baby tasting new food...would love to spit it back out but I do have manners....

Panic attack sets in...I know when it's going to start...start to heavy breath and throat starts to close...never ever did I realise what a panic attack was until I started running...never had one before...it can be quite frightening but off I go to the side of the road pretending to open my shoe....Cami stops and comes over...tried to hide to gasping for breath but the noise was just too loud! told her to go ahead quite politely but she didn't get the message so then I told her to feck off and she still didnt get the message....oh my god woman! she was smiling at me so how could I be rude to her again! She was telling me about her woes with running and at least I didn't feel like such a nuthead...plodded along just before the rugby club and at this point I was giving up running.... not a hope in hell am I coming back...Feck Marcus...feck em all...stopped dead in the road and demanded my car keys off Catriona...I'm going home and chopping up my running gear and throwing away my trainers so I definitely can't come back...nearly just nearly took the short road home...but I didn't....right hip was about to fall off...but there was only two miles to go...who cares if I walk run it...so I did just that...the last mile home was the longest mile of my life.... it seemed forever....met a few doggies along the way and they normally make me smile but they were actually walking faster than I was running...the shame...

How the hell am I going to do this marathon...I honestly don't know but one thing I do know is I'm going to keep the running up...I won't do a great first marathon but I will finish it...and that's the point of this...The Great Limerick run will be the start to a new life....I've lost 4 pounds this week...weighed myself this smorning...So in the last 3 weeks I've lost half a stone...thing will get better if I just keep doing what I'm doing...perseverance...and torture...

16 miles again next week....normally after a bad week I get a good week...sweet Jesus...

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Wed 5 miles....it's nearly 9 o'clock... where is the time going...

First thing I have to say is ' thank feck there is no running till sunday'! I am absolutely shattered,legs about to fall off me,eyes squinting and wanting my leaba...

But after all that I did the 5 miles under duress to be honest....I really really didn't want to go running this evening...any excuse would have done...I was praying that Kathleen in the office would loose the plot and with any luck would give me a belt in the shins....anything not to go running.... I was desperate this evening...loola

Half the group have dropped off... I can understand completely as this marathon training is a huge time commitment...it affects everything...drinking,sleeping,eating,working and thinking...

I'm ranting again...hitting the wall tonight...had a hectic week in work and I felt like throwing in the towel tonight...I could retire early...and considered doing a few triathlons..less stress...this argument was going on in my head all the way running home tonight...maybe an odd cycle here and there... happy out...but then I think back to the days when I started this training...I haven't got long to go and I would regret it if I didn't keep it up...we have only 4 or 5 long runs to go so I have to stick it out... for my future sanity...it will be a huge achievement..

Couldn't even do the blog last night as I was so tired and went to bed at 10...woke up still tired...even eating my porridge is becoming mundane...have to buy some blueberries or something to jazz it up...and was starved all week come 11o clock...tummy rumbling like a dormant volcano about to erupt...

Am shattered...might go for a cycle sat just to differentiate things....and it will loosen me out for my long run....

16 miles on Sun....

Monday, 12 March 2012

Mon 5 miles...under armour my arse!

I think half the group are still recovering from sat as id say there was only about ten of us out tonight...

Tonight was one of my proudest nights yet...only because sat was a tough run in the sweltering heat...but I still got out tonight and did the 5 miles... Marcus took us out the canal route down to the very end of the Cockleshells and back again.. Tonight and every other midweek run to come is all about getting the distance in the legs...so when I started this running malarkey I did say to myself that i would never miss a night unless my legs were hanging off me...and I haven't...woohoo!

Went for lunch on sat into Ballingarry...I don't know if it was the heat on the sat run or what but I couldn't eat my lunch... wasn't hungry and normally I'd horse back my lunch like a starved animal but didn't eat much all day saturday...stupid i know...

So to pep myself up over the weekend after the sat run I said I'd treat myself to a new running outfit...why not..am sick of the same ould t-shirt...eventhough Marcus said stick to the same running gear...and my pants were beginning to fall off me again so I couldn't keep pulling up my running pants during running like a pure farmer....and I decided to throw in a new running bra for good measure...

Off I toddle into manor... limped in like a true athlete with a blister...had a gawk... Crap selection...picked out one...and the lady in the shop comes up to me and said ' let me have a look there girl'... Between trying to cover the boobs and pulling back the curtain,mental head shop assistant was persistent on having a look at my fit... oh for christ's sake woman feck off....what the hell was this nut-head wanting to check my fit for!...I didn't realise that I said ' no thanks I'm fine' out loud...so feck that she threw me off shopping...talk about smothering...back to buying a bra online me thinks...

Then the new running outfit...bought Under Armour top and bottoms...delighted with my purchase I decided to wear it tonight to break it in...felt comfortable...lovely jubley...happy happy...baby blue top and black bottoms 3/4 lenght....dri fit and light...coming back in the canal tonight I looked down underneath my arms and I see big yuckey sweat patches... crap...I hope no one will see me...hence why I always wore black....running along by the aquadome I see everyone standing under the big street light...oh for fecks sake everyone will see my sweaty patches! run into the car park but kind of do a veere right of the group to miss the direct light...so much for my new top....will revert to my black one for now...

7 miles tomorrow night...where will the route be...who cares i have to do it anyway...

Sunday, 11 March 2012

Sat 14miles...bring back the rain, and I'll even take some wind!

Of course I was nervous...that's normal...once a nut-head,always a nut-head...

Don't believe what anyone says running never gets easier....I was ready for today...mentally I was stable...physically had a pulse,legs were moving....breathing was controlled...all these factors were going to make today my day...no fecking and blinding ( was going to stick to my declaration)....but bloody hell no one factored in todays 'heatwave''.....

All met in the Aquadome car park..9.30 sharp...big crowd out this smorning... Sun was shining...birds were tweeting...today was going to be a good one...

Took a group photograph beforehand...as u can see we are a fine group of athletes! it was divided up into 3 groups..Brian takes the elites( I will get there one day!),Maeve takes the intermediate runners and Marcus takes the newbies....we are the biggest group...

Started off...from the minute go I could feel the heat..it's only march and the sun was out on full form...started out along the back of Fels point...Jerry points out ( I'd say were only running for about 15mins) that already we've ran 1/28 of our run done...talk about putting us on a downer! We all told him feck off and go ahead with the other group and don't be annoying us...jokingly of course but i threatened that if he opened his mouth once more I'd swing for him...with one if my water bottles....focus focus focus...

Marcus asks me just after that 'was I alright'...I was sweating already...but in actual fact I put on moisturiser this smorning and that in conjunction with the sun probably made me look like a sweaty betty....but I was sweating...


Headed 'up the road by Lidl' and already I was trying to find shade...wore a running hat but that didn't do much good...tried not to focus on it too much...wiping the sweat off my nose...the temperature started to increase...most of the group were trying to run in by the shade in single formation...not a puff in the air...this run was going to be tough...

On holidays...went to Portugal last year..normally you'd find me underneath the umbrella with a scrunched up look on my face trying to put up with the heat...reading a book was a nightmare as with the heat and the sun cream....the book print would be smudged from stopping and starting...I definitely wasn't born with a thermometer....can't handle heat and love the windows being open...what the hell am I going to do on marathon day if it's warm...

Came along to the top of Kearney's road...hmmm where is Marcus taking us now...I'm not going to loose the plot cause of a simple route change...this must be the extra mile...we swing a left..meet some of the other group coming towards us...they were going at a good speed but they definitely looked as warmed up as us....I think it was around this point that I really started to feel the heat...oh my god my top was sticking to me already and we were only 4/5 miles into the run...kept knocking back sups of drink every 10 mins...didn't want to get dehydrated...tugging at my top trying to put some ventilation through it...waste of time...

Headed back that road...under the trees may I add...trying to cool down but it wasn't working...swung a left along the top of the rugby club...people were losing their inhibitions because everywhere I looked there were runners popping out of ditches after coming from a pee pee...the joys of long runs...

Everything was sweltering...my top was disgustingly soggy...my pants were sticking to me...and my feet felt very damp and squishy....what the hell...after about the 6 mile mark I could feel a bloody blister coming on...something was sore and it was annoying me...tried to ignore it...kept going...put more weight on my opposite foot to relieve some pressure....maybe it's a pebble..feck I have to stop...sit on a wall...doggies start barking thinking I'm an intruder...whip off my shoe...socks drenched from sweat...oh for christ sake...no pebble...a fecking blister...the cheek of it to interfere with my bloidy 14mile run! Fecked and blinded for a couple of minutes...adjusted socks...put shoe back on...started off again...felt a bit better for a while but could still feel the fecker...


Fell behind the group a little but that didn't bother me...they weren't too far...i could catch up quite easily..at this point someone definitely turned up the heating...twas around 11o clock...and I was cursing the sun...please not today of all days...hit the base of toonavane...slowly but surely made it up the hill...but had to stop at the top to take my shoe off again...was actually thinking of running barefoot but I'd probably end up in A&E with puncture wounds in my foot! Fiddled my sock...ok I have to run home with this bloody blister if it kills me...the pain was vicious...and I'm a bit of a wimp...but a blister on the big toe was driving me bananas...

Retreated back the way we came....the long road home woohoo....half way along we lost Jerry...turned around...gone... not a sign of him...Marcus runs back the road to look for him and we like cheeky school kids start strolling...happy happy...walking...stretching... laughing...eating the last few jellies...giving ourselves pats on the back...with no interest in running! There wasn't a runner in sight...next thing we hear the ' boss' coming and he's roaring at us to start running...u know when u come across a herd of cows in the middle of the road and they have no interest in moving...well that was us...we ignored him for a couple of seconds and then had to go on our merry way as he caught up to us....from there I kind of stopped and started...moaned and groaned... Fecked and blinded...still sweating from the heat....the blister was alive and well...with the help of Mags and Catriona we made it back to the car park in one piece....

I'm sitting here on Sunday morning writing up yesterday's run....not too tired...we've gone past the stage where I have a fear of the distance...no matter how hot it gets or how windy it gets or how much it rains I now know I can complete the distance....

Over 33 miles to be covered next week...mad


16 miles next sat....must check the weather forecast!...and no moisturiser!